What are my 3 favourite words?

We were talking about what happened earlier today. Because there’s this boy called Christian. HE’S SO SMALL AND CUTE. I was telling Herbert how much I missed him. Christian wouldn’t go near me because Herbert gets jealous  of him. So I got a bit annoyed and told Herbert that I didn’t like him any more. So he got up and left me :(

I was expecting him to like just leave me like for the rest of lunch. But he came back. dragging Christian along with him! I found it really sweet ><  So I hugged him saying ” aww. you’re so cute.”  

We were texting earlier… I told him that I expected him to just leave me. To which he replied : 

I smiled :)  but its haaaaaard >< I can’t develop feelings for him :( 

I’m happy because someone treats me right. But I’m afraid they’ll leave too.              I’m sad because I miss my ex. But I’m happy that I can look at a picture from the past and not start bawling my eyes out. I’m upset because I can’t have him back. But at the same time. I’m glad, because I deserve better. I’m scared that the current person in my life right now will leave me.  I’m afraid that he’ll think I’m using him as a rebound. I’m scared that I might fall for him. I’m happy because I’ve got him. But I know it wont be for long. 

fuck.

Wow.. Im so tired.like super tired.
I felt sorta sad in school today. I feel guilty with Herbert. i feel i’m just using him. But im not. Promise.. I really appreciate him. I just dont wanna let go of someone like him. Hes too nice

and she gave me my allowance 

It’s just Matthew keeps poppin up in my head and keeps ruining every moment I have with you. I can’t help but think that I’ve already done this. I want that old feeling back. It’s not fair on you. whhy can’t Matthew just die -___-

hotsilk:

Well…